A daughter has expressed her discomfort regarding her father’s affectionate nicknames for his new wife, following a long marriage to her late mother. After being married for over 50 years, the father remarried a year after his wife’s passing, sparking a range of emotions within the family. The daughter, who remains supportive of her father’s happiness, finds the pet names he uses for his new spouse increasingly difficult to accept.
The situation has become more complex as the father frequently refers to his wife, who is 72 years old, with terms like “child bride,” “beloved bride,” and “blushing bride.” She notes that these names, which also echo her mother’s name, feel like a personal affront to her mother’s memory. The daughter shared her frustration in a letter to the well-known advice columnist Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, detailing her father’s behavior and how it impacts her relationship with him.
In addition to the nicknames, the daughter cited several missteps her father made during his remarriage process. Notably, he announced his engagement on social media before informing her mother’s sister and invited his new wife to her mother’s memorial service, which was delayed. Such actions have compounded feelings of loss and disrespect, leading her to seek therapy to cope with the situation.
The daughter’s frustrations peaked when her father referred to his new wife as his “lover.” She recounted an incident where she had to ship estrogen cream to her father and stepmother, further complicating her feelings about their relationship. “I find myself afraid to even call him anymore,” she admitted, reflecting the emotional turmoil she faces.
In her response, Abigail Van Buren acknowledged that the father is likely in the “honeymoon phase” of his new marriage. Love can indeed make people act in ways that may seem silly or insensitive to others. She suggested that while it may have been awkward to be asked to ship personal items, there might have been no one else to turn to in that moment.
The columnist recommended that the daughter consider further therapy to help her process her feelings and suggested that her father likely does not intend to disrespect her mother’s memory. “I sincerely hope you will avail yourself of counseling before you resent your father even more for his happiness,” Van Buren advised.
The conversation highlights the challenges families face when navigating new relationships after the loss of a loved one. The daughter’s struggle with her father’s new life serves as a reminder of the complex dynamics that often arise during such transitions, as families learn to adapt to new realities while honoring cherished memories.
