Conflicting approaches to holiday gift-giving have emerged between a husband and wife, igniting a discussion on what constitutes thoughtfulness in choosing presents. A letter to the well-known advice column, Dear Abby, outlines the differing perspectives of a woman who enjoys selecting gifts throughout the year, and her husband, who insists on a more personalized approach.
Gift-Giving Preferences Clash
The woman, who identifies herself as “Not Merry in the Midwest,” explains that her method involves purchasing items she finds appealing over the course of the year, with only a vague idea of the recipients in mind. In December, she organizes these gifts, matching them to family members based on her insights. Her husband, however, disapproves of her process, contending that gifts should be chosen with specific individuals in mind and preferably close to the occasion.
Despite her husband’s objections, he does not participate in the gift selection process. This has left the responsibility solely on her shoulders, leading to feelings of frustration due to a lack of time and patience for the shopping style he advocates. The wife seeks validation for her approach, questioning whether she is indeed being thoughtless.
In response, Abigail Van Buren, the columnist behind Dear Abby, disagrees with the husband’s assertion. She suggests that the wife should communicate her willingness to step back from the task if he believes it should be done differently. If he chooses to take on the responsibility and the gifts do not meet expectations, the outcome would rest on him.
Overcoming Past Communication Issues
In a separate inquiry, another reader from Nevada, who calls herself “Closed Mouth in Nevada,” reflects on her past tendency to overshare in conversations. After recognizing this habit, she sought treatment and has made significant progress. However, she still encounters individuals from her past who may have been uncomfortable with her previous openness. She questions whether her current approach of smiling and moving on is appropriate.
Dear Abby commends her for handling the situation with composure. By acknowledging her past behavior and engaging with former acquaintances without reverting to oversharing, she demonstrates personal growth. The advice column suggests that her ability to smile and say hello without engaging in deeper conversations is a positive way to navigate these encounters.
Dear Abby is a long-standing advice column originally founded by Pauline Phillips and is currently written by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips. Readers can access the column online at www.DearAbby.com or via mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. The insights provided in this column highlight the complexities of interpersonal relationships, particularly during the festive season.
