The holiday season often brings with it the joyful tradition of sending out holiday cards. However, as families evolve, so do the complexities of addressing these cards. A recent inquiry to advice columnist Eric Thomas highlights a common issue faced by many: how to appropriately address holiday cards when family members have different last names.
In a letter, a reader expressed frustration over her holiday card list, noting that many brides choose not to adopt their husbands’ surnames. This change complicates the traditional approach to card addressing. The writer asked if it was acceptable to use “Smith Family” for a family where the wife has retained her maiden name, resulting in a mixed surname situation.
Thomas suggested a few alternatives. One option is to address the cards to “Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe & Family.” This approach acknowledges each individual’s name while still providing a collective identity for the family. Another recommendation is to use hyphenated surnames, such as “Smith-Doe Family,” if applicable. For simplicity, he also proposed using “The Smith and Doe Family,” which effectively encompasses all family members.
In a separate letter, another reader resonated with a previous query about the division of household responsibilities. The woman compared her situation to the letter from a husband whose wife spends excessive time online, leaving him to manage the household chores alone. Although she does not spend all her time online, she mentioned her struggle with anxiety and depression, which often leaves her overwhelmed by household tasks.
The letter highlighted the importance of communication in relationships. Thomas emphasized that the husband should consider discussing these feelings with his wife, as the issue may stem from deeper emotional challenges rather than a simple division of labor. Suggesting that she speak to a healthcare professional could provide necessary support.
As the holiday season approaches, these discussions about family dynamics and responsibilities become increasingly relevant. Addressing holiday cards might seem trivial, but it can reflect larger societal changes regarding family identities.
For those seeking advice, questions can be sent to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or through traditional mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Readers can also follow him on Instagram and subscribe to his weekly newsletter for more insights.
